A woman has claimed in a now-viral post that her husband recently blamed his “declining” health on her breast cancer.
Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum on Wednesday under the username u/user345433, the woman said that her husband has made a habit out of blaming “every little thing” on her cancer. The post has received more than 12,000 upvotes and nearly 1,000 comments from angry Redditors who bashed her husband for his behavior.
At the beginning of her post, the woman explained that she was diagnosed with breast cancer several months ago. As a result, her husband canceled his employment contract and became her primary caretaker.
“He drives me to the hospital and takes care of my medication and I’m so grateful for that. But he developed this habit of blaming my condition for every little thing,” she wrote.
He’d make comments like, ‘Because of your cancer now I [have] to drive in the middle of the night to look for medicine,’…or he’d say, ‘If it wasn’t for your cancer I’d still [have] my contract,” she continued.
Things finally reached a head when, over dinner, her husband blamed his “declining” health on her cancer.
“He was reheating dinner for himself (he hates to eat anything frozen) and put it on the table and started eating with disgust all over his face,” she recalled.
When she entered the kitchen, her husband looked at her and said: “Who would [have] ever thought I’d settle for a frozen meal. Because of your cancer now my health is declining because all I eat is frozen junk since you can’t even cook!”
At this comment, the woman “snapped.”
“I yelled at him saying that my cancer isn’t a CHOICE, that I’m not happy with the situation I’m in and that his constant remarks about my condition have gone too far and needed to be stopped,” she said.
The American Cancer Society has said that “about 287,850 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women” in 2022. This diagnosis, said the National Cancer Institute (NCI), may cause both the patient and their spouse to feel “anxious, helpless, or afraid.”
To reduce stress on the relationship, Stanford Medicine says it’s important for couples to “face cancer together.”
“Although your spouse has cancer, the illness is really happening to both of you. Your life is being disrupted in many of the same ways,” Stanford Medicine explained.
“It can be tremendously reassuring and comforting to your loved one to know that the two of you are facing the illness together and that your support and involvement will be steadfast and unwavering regardless of what happens,” Stanford Medicine continued.
Many commenters agreed that u/user345433’s husband needs someone he can talk to about his wife’s diagnosis. However, they also slammed him for not being supportive enough of u/user345433.
“Ma’am, I hate your husband. Even bad people deserve better support than you’re getting during this awful period…NTA [not the a**hole],” wrote u/CranberrySafe3271.
“If he can’t be supportive, he can be quiet…If he wants to vent to someone about how hard your cancer is for him, he needs to do that to someone else. They even have support groups for that. luck and take care of yourself. NTA,” said u/ParsimoniousSalad.
Redditor u/sra19 added: “NTA at all. But maybe he needs a support group or something because while he’s not experiencing it the same way as you, he is going through it too and probably needs somewhere that he can vent without it being to you or making you feel worse.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/user345433 for comment.
In related news, commenters slammed a man’s family last week for blaming his wife for not “managing” his diabetes.
Other AITA stories to go viral in April include that of a woman who tried to breastfeed her granddaughter, as well as that of a woman who kicked her brother and his family out of her apartment.