A woman who exposed her fiancé who lied to his family about her homemade birthday gift has the internet torn.
A woman under the username u/JuniorGal99 posted her situation to Reddit’s “AmITheA**hole” forum in hopes to get the opinions of many to decide if she was in the wrong. The viral post has over 6,000 notes and 1,000 comments.
The Redditor begins her story by explaining how her fiancé’s family is very wealthy and can be “obsessed over looks and status.” Her fiancé is an only child and is very spoiled. His parents even bought the apartment they are currently reside in.
According to Quicken Loans, the five most expensive cities to live in are Washington DC, Brooklyn, New York, Honolulu, Hawaii, San Francisco, California and Manhattan, New York where the median rent for one month is $5,133.
According to her fiancé, his mother wants the original poster (OP) to wear name-brand clothes and makeup when she is with his family due to “important people” being there. Her fiancé told her that he would pay for her outfits, but she had certain brands that she was comfortable wearing.
“For his birthdays they do exaggerate with their celebration and for his 25th birthday they reserved a restaurant for the occassion and sent out invitations. I heard that inside theor invitations they included a list of acceptable/expensive gifts to bring. His mom sent me one which had me like WTF?” she wrote.
When the woman called up her future mother-in-law, she insisted that he really wanted the gift and would be “disappointed” if he didn’t get it. Instead of the expensive gifts, she planned on giving him a handmade frame that can be used for their wedding photo. Her husband-to-be told her that his parents would think the gift was “cheap” and that he would buy a pair of Nike shoes for himself and act surprised like she had got them for him. She said no and wanted to give him the frame and won’t lie.
“At the party and when he was opening gifts I found out that he opened some box and pulled out NIKE shoes and acted thrilled while thanking me for getting them for him. I was confused I said this wasn’t my gift and started looking for it among the other gifts,” she explained.
She continued: “I asked where he put the floral frame and he acted dumb. I got so mad I told him in front of his parenta that he shouldn’t have lied about what I originally gifted him and that if he was ashamed of it then I will be keeping it.”
Before anyone could stop her, she got into an Uber and left to stay with a friend. Her fiancé was texting her about how upset he was and how he was “protecting her from his family’s criticism” and how he was exposed in front of his family for lying about the shoes. She told him about his family’s attitude towards her and he did agree that they “can be a bit shallow” but he’s “nothing” without his parents and everything they have given him.
Redditors were split in the comments.
U/cardshark6 explained how she was in the wrong, receiving the top comment with over 18,000 upvotes, “The floral frame gift for a future wedding picture: this was clearly not a gift for your boyfriend. A birthday gift is supposed to be about that person, not about you or you as a couple.”
They continued, “You raised a pretty big stink in front of his family when this matter could have been resolved privately after the event. Did you really need to embarrass and shame him in front of his entire family?”
The commenter also explained, “This leads me to an [Everyone Sucks Here] judgment. You for the above, the boyfriend for lying, his family for fostering an environment that pushed him to lie. Going deeper than a judgment, maybe this blow-up was your way of ending the relationship. It sounds like you are unhappy with his lifestyle and his family.”
“How is a frame for both of your wedding…that hasn’t happened…a birthday gift for him? [You’re the a**hole] for that in itself,” u/usernametaken6000 said.
“[Everyone Sucks Here]. Him for being embarrassed about your gift and dishonest with the fake gift. You for giving a self gift (a floral frame for a wedding pic that doesn’t exist yet) in a public time when you know in advance he will be embarrassed about it,” u/SlinkyMalinky20 explained.
“[Not the A**hole]. but you should consider your next move. a big gap of family’s background could make alot of problems on a relationship,” u/AllexaNightshade said.
“[Not the A**hole]. Seems like you need to reevaluate if you want to marry this guy. You’re getting his family and broken back bone, to boot. He’ll crawl to Mommy & Daddy, but will he bend over backwards for you? Think about it,” u/slythercon wrote. “Who cares if his family thinks you’re cheap.”