MLB Angels match seven of their singles teammates – and still find a way to lose


With a 44-61 record despite best efforts to dominate AL MVP Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout, the Los Angeles Angels have found plenty of ways this season to squander the impressive performance. However, on Thursday the team was able to discover a new way to inflict a mind-boggling defeat on their beleaguered fan base.

In a home game against the bleakest Oakland Athletic, the Angels made a whopping seven home runs – and yes, they lost.

Somehow, none of the seven bathroom owners came with anyone at the base. Of course, that’s still seven runs, which is usually enough to win a major league game. Not on Thursday, but not with such a pity. The final score was 8-7 in favor of Auckland.

“I think they always say running a single home doesn’t hit you, but you feel like if you hit seven, you might as well,” said Phil Nevin, Angels interim manager.

according to ESPN, the Angels tied the MLB record in a singles game with seven of their singles teammates. They also tied a record seven zinger in a loss.

MLB teams with at least this number of homeowners in the game were 113-5 in those competitions prior to Thursday. Now the Angels have lowered this winning percentage in a shameful manner. And while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and shoot some “Tungsten Arm O’Doyle” signals.

That reference, of course, is to the fictional star of Akron’s fictional groomsmen whose exploits on diamonds were unparalleled until Otani came along, as immortalized in a 2021 tweet that has continued to circulate on occasions like Thursday’s loss. Not one Angels fan dreamed of the tweet, but one Toronto Blue Jays fan dreamed up, someone who couldn’t help but notice the Southern California franchise’s tendency to waste the absolutely wonderful work of Trout and Ohtani.

While Trout has been sidelined since mid-July with a back ailment uncommon to a baseball player — he recently declared, “My career isn’t over,” in comments that were perhaps more serious than he intended — Ohtani once again made his turn Thursday by hitting two Homer Seven Angels.

The Japanese star now has 24 on the season with a 64 RBI and .859 on base as well as a slow percentage that ranks 15th in the MLB. Then there are his exploits on the heap, which include £2.83 and the highest strike rate per nine runs (13.0) of any qualifying pitcher.

In other words, Ohtani makes a strong case for winning the MLS Player of the Year award for the second time in a row. Trout, a three-time AL MVP, notched 24 home runs and a 0.967 OPS before landing on the hit list.

Riding that star power and some solid supporting work, the Angels started on a 24-13 start and were number one in the AL in mid-May. Since then, they range in age from 20 to 48 and mix among the inhabitants of AL cellars. Along the way, manager Joe Madon was fired, and on Tuesday Los Angeles took advantage of an MLB trade deadline to send a few players to rival teams.

The Angels haven’t finished with a winning record since 2015, and they haven’t made the playoffs since 2014. They haven’t won a post-season game since 2009, the same year that Los Angeles drafted Trout.

The 30-year-old midfielder is widely regarded as the best player of his era, and one of the greatest of all time. Otani came on board in 2018, and all he did was draw comparisons to Babe Ruth. You know, the real-life baseball superhero of the past, not the cynical creation of one of those countless baseball fans who were stunned by the angels’ ability to make history while drifting even further into irrelevance.

Among other factual facts that emerged Thursday from the wasted power show, it was the first time since at least 1900 (per that a major league team achieved seven home runs to account for all of its runs.

A number of online observers have also been transferred to point outYou can’t do that [expletive] above.

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